PORN
What is pornography? Ok this is not going to be the beginning of every Geography topic where they always begin with the definition. Like what is the geography? What is weather? What is mass wasting? No! So, let me start by making some things clear:
4.Continue reading down below…
PART ONE: “MUM IS THIS YOUR BOOB?”
When was the first time that I watched porn?
Let me start by what I knew about the “p-word” before I got to see the action part. Growing up when my thoughts were “as pure as a river”*, I was never allowed to say the word. Porn was a taboo word. It was like saying kissing, hugging or sex. I thought it was all the three of those. So when I knew about the internet and how to use it on the phone. Back then, like in 2005, when the Motorola flip-phones were the shit. How many of you remember this catchphrase, ‘Hello Moto’?
So I was on my dad’s phone and somehow, out of the blues, I found myself staring a picture of boobs. I don’t know what kind of sorcery had made the picture of boobs suddenly appearbecause I swear I had not gone to a porn site or googled ‘black boobs’ because which seven year old has time to google porn when all you want to do is to download games. I might have gone to redwap.com, the slutty sister of waptrick.com. But seriously speaking, I was seven years old and trust me boobs were not my interest. Nowadays, times have changed. Seven years old have Instagram pages and are already pros at twerking.
When I saw the picture, I did not freak out. I was just there emotionless. It was like looking at a picture of an apple or a car. That is how I saw the picture and that explains why I did notstart closing the page and clearing the history. Back then, phone browsers had one page and there was no private browsing. So I took the phone and went and showed it to my mum. Genius or not, do not judge a seven year old. So here is how our convo went:
ME:(out of breathe) Mum I have to show you something?
MUM:( angrily)What now? Can’t you see that I am breastfeeding your brother?
ME: It won’t take long.
MUM: OK. Make it quick I don’t have all night for – (to my brother) Argh! Stop biting my nipple.
ME :( showing her the phone) Are these your boobs?
Q.1 What do you think might have happened next?
Answer the question above with the suitable answer.
If you answer was (C) you are not CORRECT. Because she took the phone, asked me whether I was watching porn and then screamed at my brother for biting her nipple. I denied the accusations. Like seriously speaking, I had not even started learning about sex yet. She started complaining how I spent a lot of time staring at the screens instead of opening a book and how I was watching PG-13 movies and how they were ruining my mind. TBH, it never mattered to me whether or not a movie was age restricted because I was not all that into movies that didn’t have a lead actor around my age. What followed next was me not getting the phone a whole month and not to mention how I was not allowed to watch TV because I was already corrupted. I was banned from watching The Beat which was like a big deal because somehow I would end up watching Beyoncé twerk-walking while singing Check On It and it would make my grades fall drastically.
PART TWO: “THREESOME OF FIVE PEOPLE”
So here is the first time when I watched porn.
It was in 2008, somewhere towards the end of July, this because school was about to break for the August holidays and around that time people had already gotten in what the teachers dreaded the “holiday mood”. This is when people stopped caring more about the holidays and less about how to carry yourself in school. By carrying yourself I am referring to people breaking the school dress code and a few of the rules. Guys would stop shaving their hair and girls would start applying nail polish and coming to school with other hairstyles other than the mandatory cornrows. The worst form of punishment someone would be given is to get a haircut and if you didn’t you would be paraded in front of the whole school during the bi-weekly assembly.
So there was this guy who was then was my best friend. Hecame with his phone and told me and his friends that he hadsome video on his phone that he would like to show us in the afternoon just outside the classes. Normally school ended at 4:00pm and from class six up they continued with their lessons up to 6:30 but if you were in the lower classes and you would have wanted to remain behind till 5:30 no one would have stopped you. That day I remained because I didn’t want to miss out on a chance of a lifetime. If you missed something, people would rub it in your face and they would somehow bring it up in a conversation and you would find yourself floating. This was not going to be one of those times when I could miss something important.
My best friend had been carrying his phone to school for quitesome time. I was not surprised when he flashed his phone during lessons making girls gasp and label him as a ‘bad boy’. Back then you would be a ‘bad boy’ by just wearing a jacket of a different colour because my school had this rule where black or navy blue jackets were the only ones that were allowed. So in the afternoon it was time to see the video. This is the video that would form the base of our conversations for the remaining days we had in school. It was around 4:50pm, I was doing my homework like the rest of my classmates even though somewhere busy gossiping about how two teachers fucked when we were having sports. My best friend stood up and signaled us to follow him out of the classroom. Just outside the classroom, he opened his bag. We stood there because the coast was clear and we were pretty much the only people in the verandah at that time. So we encircled his bag as he switched on his phone and opened his gallery. When someone was being encircled, that meant that someone had either gum or food. Such a scene didn’t raise any suspicions. Besides who was there to be suspicious.
BEST FRIEND: Here is the video I wanted you guys to see and let me reduce the volume so that people cannot hear. [=people moaning]
CLASSMATE 1: Sure.
CLASSMATE 2: Okay
ME: (excited) Play the video already.
As soon as my word left the mouth, he hit the keypad button and the video started playing. Since this was not a touch screen and it was one of those phone that had a big button just above the digits. The video was of an orgy. I didn’t even know that that’s how they were called back then. The closest word to ‘orgy’ that I knew was ‘threesome’. I concluded that it was a threesome of five people. We were silent for some time before it hit us that this was porn and not some cat video or a low resolution music video. Ten seconds in the videos, the rest of the guys were starting to freak out. Saying how we would be caught. How we were being watched by someone. How the people in the video were naked. Since I was pure then, I didn’t know how people in pornos look because I was told that they were naked and touch each other. Sex to me what people being naked and touching each other and somehow end up getting pregnant. The funny thing is that, I didn’t react the same way the same way they did .I was just staring at the phone silently getting mildly aroused but that was it. Nothing. NO REACTION.
CLASSMATE 1: My brother does the same thing all the time
CLASSMATE 2: How do you know?
CLASSMATE 1: Whenever his girlfriend and his friend come over they go to the room and I am not allowed to enter and all I hear is the same noise.
BEST FRIEND: They watch porn all the time?
CLASSMATE 1: Maybe
ME: Or they have a threesome. (CLASSMATE 1 nods turns to BEST FRIEND) Do you have more videos?
BEST FRIEND: Yes but I cannot show you now. I will show you when you visit me.
ME: Cool.
And that my friends, is how my virgin eyes first saw my first boob pic and first Porn
* quoting lyrics from Haunting by Halsey
